I really appreciate the level of self-awareness here. You’ve already identified something important - that this isn’t coming from your co-founder. This feeling is coming from within you. And while that can feel isolating, it’s also where your power sits. Because it means you have influence over how you understand, respond to, and reshape this experience.

So let’s walk through it…

When you say you feel this constant pressure to perform, I’d want to understand a bit more about that:

• What does that actually feel like for you?

• How does it show up in your body?

• What makes that pressure rise?

• What makes it ease?

• Is this a new experience, or something you’ve felt before in other environments / situations?

The more you understand when and why this pressure shows up, the more insight you have into what might actually shift it.

Then there’s the question underneath it all: “Am I doing enough?” Firstly, do you actually know what “enough” means to you? Because in many cases, “enough” is undefined. It’s a moving target. And if that’s the case, it becomes an impossible standard to meet. So there are two paths here:

• Either you recognise that “enough” isn’t clearly defined - and therefore it’s not a useful question to keep asking yourself, so you change the question

• Or you define it. Clearly. Practically. In a way you can actually measure and work towards

Both are valid - but staying in the middle, constantly questioning it without clarity, will keep you stuck in that loop.

The comparison piece is also really important. This comes up a lot in co-founder partnerships. You’re working closely together, you have visibility of each other’s output, and naturally, you start to assess your place within that dynamic. It’s a bit like being on a team - you know you need each other to win, but there’s also an underlying awareness of each other’s contribution.

I think it’s unrealistic to try and eliminate comparison entirely. But the key is understanding whether it’s helping you or draining you. Sometimes comparison can be useful - it can give you ideas, perspective, even motivation. But when it feeds into self-doubt or negative self-talk, it starts to cost you. So notice:

• When does comparison show up most strongly?

• What specifically are you comparing?

• Are there parts of it that are useful, and parts that aren’t?

The goal isn’t to stop comparing. It’s to become more intentional about what you do with it.

There’s also something deeper here around how you’re measuring your value. When you say you feel like you have something to prove, it’s worth asking:

• What are you using as your measure of value?

• Is it output? Visibility? Speed? Revenue?

• Is it how your co-founder works - and whether you match that?

Because in strong partnerships, you’re not there to be the same. You’re there to bring something different that moves the business forward. And when that isn’t clearly understood - either by you, or between you - it can create exactly this kind of internal pressure. So it would also be worth stepping back and asking:

• Do I feel clear on the value I bring to this business?

• Do we have a shared understanding of how each of us contributes?

Sometimes this is an internal re-jig, and sometimes it’s a conversation to have between you.

And last but by no means least: how do you actually want to feel in this business? This is SUCH an important question that we rarely ask ourselves. So do it - ask yourself and write down a detailed answer. Then work backwards:

• What do your days / weeks need to look like for you to feel that way?

• What do you need more of? Less of?

• How can you create that?

Some of that might be small shifts - habits, routines, how you structure your time. Some of it might be bigger - how responsibilities are split, how you and your co-founder define success, how you communicate, how you’re compensated etc.

But the key point is this: you’re not just reacting to the business - you’re shaping your experience of it. I’m not saying it’s easy! Far from it, but it’s some of the most important work you’ll do as a founder. And if you’re feeling this unease now, it’s really important to address it - for yourself, for your partnership, and for your business.