I hear you, that tension between wanting rest and feeling unable to take it is a tricky place to be. And when you're building something with someone else, the stakes feel really personal, and it can seem like the pressure never stops.

But here’s the truth: if your default mode is “always on,” resentment is inevitable - either toward your Co-Founder, your business… or yourself. Not to mention the toll it will take on your mind, body and soul if you never switch off.

I want to zoom out for a mo; in the future, when you look back on this business journey:
- What story do you want to tell?
- How do you want to say you treated yourself?
- What do you want to say about the other things you cared about during this time?
You’re writing this story with every thought, decision, and action, and when we’re ‘in it’, it can feel tricky to see how it all builds up into a bigger experience. So take the time to consider it from a wider perspective.

Then let’s explore this from a few angles:

1. What story are you telling yourself about switching off?

Start with some honest reflection: - What do you believe will happen if you fully step away? Do you have any evidence to say that’s true? - What assumptions are you making about your Co-Founder’s time off? - Is there a part of you that ties your worth to your availability or output?

Resentment often comes when we suppress a need, like rest, while watching someone else meet theirs. It’s not petty. It’s human. And it’s a sign something’s not aligned.

2. What boundaries actually exist, and which are self-imposed?

99% of the time it’s not your business demanding you stay connected, it’s you. Ask yourself:
- Have you agreed with your Co-Founder on what ‘time off’ really means?
- Whilst you’re off, are you picking up tasks that could wait, be delegated, or dropped entirely?
- Do you trust that the business and your Co-Founder can survive without you for a set period? (I use ‘survive’ intentionally… will anything really catastrophic happen?)
- If you don’t trust that, why? What needs to shift - in your systems and your mindset - to make that possible?

3. What would real rest look like for you?

Maybe you don’t need a 10-day silent retreat, maybe it’s just one full day of no screens, no business talk, no guilt. What’s restorative is personal. Ask yourself:
- When was the last time you truly felt rested?
- What conditions helped you get there?
- How can you recreate that, even on a small scale?

The goal isn’t just to “take a break.” It’s to figure out how you rest best, and how your business can support that rather than block it.

4. What conversation needs to happen?

If this dynamic is creating tension, it’s worth naming. Not in a blaming way, but from curiosity and care.

Try something like:
“I’m struggling to switch off, and I think I’m holding some unspoken expectations about myself, and about us as Co-Founders. Can we talk about how we both take time off, and how we can best make that happen.”

It’s not about asking them to change. It’s about getting aligned on what balance, responsibility, and time off really look like for each of you, then co-creating the structures and processes to make that possible.