Losing confidence in yourself - especially in a partnership where you once felt equal - can feel pretty shaky and draining. I therefore really appreciate that you’re taking ownership of this, as it can be easier to place accountabiltiy elsewhere. Yes, there might be certain external factors at play, but ultimately, our confidence comes down to us – and it’s our responsibility to rebuild it.

So as always, let’s break this down into some clear steps:

1. What’s changed?

You say you don’t know when this started, but what was the first time you recognised that you were losing confidence? Reflect on what was happening, and consider why your confidence might have then continued to fade.

• Was this shift gradual or triggered by something (even small)?

• What has changed in your role, the business, or your personal life over this time?

• Are there tasks, projects, or dynamics where you still do feel confident? What’s different about them?

Sometimes it’s not just about you or your experience, but also how the environment has shifted around you.

2. What story are you telling yourself?

Confidence rarely just vanishes - it’s often eroded by a story we’re telling ourselves, consciously or not. Ask yourself:

• What is the narrative running in your mind about yourself as a co-founder?

• What are you measuring yourself against?

• Would you hold your co-founder to the same expectations you’re putting on yourself?

Identify these small stories you tell yourself throughout the day – I’d encourage you to write them down – and then challenge them: Is this really true? What else could be true?

3. Where are you outsourcing your power?

You say your co-founder is a great support – but do you lean too heavily on their approval or reassurance? Or seek validation from anyone else? Remember, confidence isn’t the absence of doubt - it’s the willingness to act despite it.

4. Think about a time your confidence felt strong

Let’s not just focus on what’s missing. Reflect on a time when you felt super confident.

• What were you doing?

• Who were you being?

• What were the conditions that supported that confidence?

• What can you learn from that version of you, and how can you start bringing them into your present experience?

5. What conversation needs to happen?

You say your co-founder is a great support, so if you feel comfortable, I’d encourage you to share this experience with them. And when you do, ask them to just listen, rather than give advice.

You’re not looking for validation or for them to ‘do’ something. You’re looking for a safe space to share and be heard, then a constructive conversation about why and how you want to work on your confidence, and what support you’d be looking for from them (along with some accountability!).

It’s a great chance to strengthen your dynamic by having an open conversation about how you’re both doing - how you really feel about yourselves as partners in this business.

6. Remember: confidence is a muscle.

If it took a while to fade, it often takes a while to come back. So what can you do today? And then tomorrow? What’s one decision you can make without overthinking? Where can you share your opinion even if it feels uncomfortable?

Confidence is built through small daily reps, so how can you start putting in the work? You’ve got this – one confidence rep at a time.