I appreciate your honesty as this can be uncomfortable to say, but you're not alone as this is a theme I come across a lot. Visibility dynamics can stir up big feelings, especially when it feels like they’re tied to contribution and influence.

And the truth is, this isn’t just about ego. I often find it's a mix of identity, your perception of fairness, how you measure contribution, the strength of your communication, and the clarity around roles - all of which matter in a Co-Founder partnership.

Let’s explore a few angles here:

1. What does visibility mean to you, and why is it prompting this response?

When you feel that invites pass you by, what’s the story you’re telling yourself?
- That you’re not valued?
- That you’re less important?
- That you’re falling behind?
- ... Where does that story come from? Has this experience shown up before - either in business or somewhere else in your life?

Let’s dig a little deeper:
- What emotions are coming up for you?
- Are you able to give specific examples of how or when you’ve felt left behind?
- Is there any evidence (really) that this is true?

Understanding your emotional response will shed light on what is creating this experience for you, and therefore how it might be addressed.

2. What responsibility are you taking?

When you say “invites always seem to pass me by,” it sounds like this is something that’s happening to you. That framing puts you in a passive role, but you’re not powerless here.

You have influence. You have agency. So let’s flip it:
- What opportunities are you overlooking?
- What relationships could you strengthen?
- What conversations could you start?

Instead of asking why it’s happening to you, ask how you can build your visibility and take action.

3. Was this dynamic ever agreed?

Often these roles happen by default as one of you might be naturally more external-facing - but if it’s never been discussed, so the dynamic starts to feel lopsided.

Ask yourself:
- Did we ever define who shows up where, and why?
- Are we making the most of both our strengths in how we represent the business?
- How else could we approach visibility?

4. If you believe things feel unequal, how are you measuring that?

Let’s get specific:
- Have you and your Co-Founder ever mapped out your individual contributions across the business?
- Are you comparing like-for-like or different types of output (eg. revenue vs brand vs strategy)?
- What exactly is making it feel unequal?

Perceived imbalance without clear metrics often leads to resentment. And trust me, how we perceive contributions is incredibly personal, and there's a high chance you’ll both see this differently.

5. What conversation needs to happen?

Once you’ve got clarity on the above, bring it to your Co-Founder - not as a complaint, but as an opportunity to rebalance and revisit expectations.

It’s a chance to get aligned on what visibility, contribution, and leadership look like for each of you - and decide how to create the space to both thrive and create value.